November 23rd, 2006


The good, the bad, and the weird

The bad and the Weird: I was stricken by one of those complete loss of self-confidence episodes over the weekend. I have them periodically - they are short and rare, but extremely intense. I literally cannot think straight and only worry. The good: talking about it with a few good, wise people cures it quickly. The weird: during that episode, I asked God for a sign, any sign. Later that day, a sign came in the form of two Russian coins (1 & 5 kopecks) making it into my brand-new purse. Later I learned that it was my mom, she borrowed a couple dollar bills for car wash (asked me) and decided to put in some change (didn't tell me), and since she was in Russia only a couple months ago, that might explain it. Still, she says she sorted the money, it was all US and still, I noticed it - and I never look at the coins. So it was still a sign, I just don't know what it meant.

The good: I have been given the permission to switch out of the Peru rotation. After all these years, I've still got it. I can be eloquent and convincing when necessary. I have requested to have the month of April at the Baker's (Kroeger subdivision) pharmacy right by my house, or a few miles away if the closest one is not available. So far so good.

Overall, I am freaking out a little bit about what am I going to do next year. I don't want to err and have to feel my brain shrivel up and die every day for a year or two. I don't want my professional reputation ruined by quitting in the middle of the program. So how do I choose which one is right for me? And how do I get it? Hopefully, the Midyear will sort it all out in my head.

Finally, to all the Americans on my friendlist, Happy Thanksgiving!