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Мысли Всмятку

Ad Majorem Annae Gloriam

How do you know that you are either:
a) Not an American
b) A naive sucker
C) All of the above?

Very easy. If you interpret the "No Sugar Added" line on a packet of hot cocoa as "unsweetened" - you are it. If you (correctly) intepret it as "has artificial sweeteners out the wazoo" then you probably are an American or have lived among them long enough and assimilated well enough.