Anna (hellga) wrote,
Anna
hellga

  • Mood:

Nothing ever goes right, does it?

My mother is going through menopause, and her personality has changed quite a bit. She had one of her fits today, and it was absolutely terrible. I cried for half an hour after it. She says terrible, hurtful things to people who care the most about her, and she doesn't even realize what she is doing.

I miss my mother. Not the irritable woman, completely devoid of sense of humor, practicality, and all other qualities I remember. This monster hides behind the familiar face and voice and hurls angry words that hurt like daggers. It is hard on me, and even harder on my father.

I don't know how to help her. It is a terrible feeling - helplessness, and I have experienced it far too rarely to be used to it. It is very hard for me to deal with it. I am tempted to run away, but contrasting senses of duty and cowardice, both quite strong in me, in this particular situation work together to hold me here.

Was that too depressing? If yes, I apologize. I have no wish to become something I hate.

To cheer you up a bit, I have posted the rough draft of Feanor's Marriage Prospect on my webpage at http://www.geocities.com/crazyhellga/silm/feanor-mp.html
Tags: fanfic, life sucks, tolkien, чукча читатель
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